Hurting from the outside in (TW)

Fall seven times; stand up eight

*before you continue, know that this post will contain mentions of self harm. I will try my best not to get graphic or detailed about anything. If you are currently struggling with this PLEASE DONT READ UNLESS YOU WANT TO SEE MENTIONS OF IT HERE. Reach out to someone you trust. If I know you, reach out to me. I’m here for you. Please keep in mind that this post is not encouraging self injury, matter of fact it’s just documenting some common misconceptions about it and other alternatives to it*

 

It’s a touchy subject. No one wants to discuss the horrific (and not so horrific) ways we injure ourselves. We show someone the depths of ourselves and they say oh… and get scared..

Don’t get my wrong: I am tolerant of people so this isn’t something I’m bitter or upset about. I’m merely here to spread awareness.

But the scared way people respond to this is very ( and I mean very as in like as very sure as Loki is of his attractiveness very) weird to see. When I told my friend about it a longgg time ago, he was surprised to say the least. I half expected him to be running around screaming on the other side of the screen. The shock of others isn’t to hurt you, because at first I took it that way. It’s just an emotion. They don’t know what it’s like to hurt so bad that you need a release like that. And it’s good they don’t, and it’s ok we do. Now, I’m not saying it’s safe or justified because we need an outlet.

I’m saying;

your cuts don’t make you who you are.

Your burns don’t either.

Neither do those bruises on your legs.

Or the full plate on the counter.

You are not a burden, or an awful person because of your actions. Speaking of which, there’s a few misconceptions I’d like to clear up ( WISH MY SKIN WOULD GOSH) so to say

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1. Self harm is an attention seeking action and shouldn’t be rewarded (so to speak) by addressing the issue.

EHH WRONG *throws buzzer* listen my pals, my friends, my fam: THERE ARE SO MANY REASONS THIS IS AN ISSUE FOR THAT PERSON!!! I cannot stress that enough…. really. One persons escape, is another’s control. And it can change and is never just concrete yes or no. Sure, sometimes it is for attention; they are seeking help. It’s a cry. But sometimes it isn’t. So please, just ask… really it’s that simple! Just ask why, and if they aren’t comfortable, tell them that’s ok. or That you hope they will be ok. not only that: but if anything it really should be addressed. No matter the reason for the injury; it’s still there. And ignoring it isn’t gonna go much. This ain’t a pimple my dudes.

2. Eating disorders can’t be a form of self harm.

BUM BUM BUM WRONG AGAIN *kicks buzzer into window* sorry what kinda “restrictive eating” do you not get. If you are purposely doing something that you know in your right mind will hurt you in the long run. It’s self injury my bro. There are so so many conceptions these days of what it can and can’t be. But that doesn’t help anyone does it? No it does not.

3: It is something you can stop at anytime.

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEP. *slam dunks buzzer* oh no!!! Need I remind you, that no addict goes into their phases thinking “oh hey let’s do this now, I’ll give it up tomorrow”. It’s not like that. It’s something that becomes your new normal, your new coping. And the pain your feeling doesn’t just go away, so neither does the behavior.

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im proud to say, my friends, that I’ve officailly made it to 16 and have been clean for a very long time. There are days where I miss it, I miss the unhealthy things because I had hardwired my brain to belive I was helping myself. But In reality, I wasn’t in the slightest. Life is so hard, and I’m only in my teens and have so much more to go. But I know the people around me care. And that’s something I didn’t have a year ago ( I mean the understanding, they’ve always  cared. I just didn’t see). I don’t regret the things I’ve gone through, because it has made me into the kind of person that can talk to others about so many different aspects of topics, and not feel unqualified.

You are no disposable, you are not to be hurt and destroyed. You’re so sooooo precious ( I LOVE YOU GOSH!). You may not see that, but remember, this 16 year ol girl on the internet does. So stay safe. You’re so strong, show the world what you can do. Sometimes it’s all you can do to lay in bed, and that’s OK!!! Take it easy.

If this upset you, or you are in any danger to yourself: please chat or call this number: tel:1-800-273-8255

Dont forget to take your meds, get some sleep, eat something, drink some water.

I already published this and forgot to put a song in, so I shall do that now. This posts song is; human by Christina Perri. I’ve been feeling very emotional lately and this song is soooo good!

I love you,

Liz