Life’s a mess man 

“I can and I will. Watch me”- I don’t know who said this, but I love them.

I mean, honestly that title is TRUTH. Who agrees? Dont you dare say life’s not messy, don’t lie to yourself. Life is a mess, and sometimes, and only sometimes, it sucks. Like really really sucks. But for every single bad thing there are a thousand amazing smiles. A friend reminded me of that the other day, not everything can be bad. I’ve met so many of my best friends(who don’t leave me thank you very much) through the tough stuff in my life. I met Owen, oh my dear Owen, because I had a panic attack in science class. I’ve never had someone like Owen, she’s a life saver, id be even more crazy without her. So thank you my dear Owen, yell here! I met Deric because some kid was being super rude, and he was always there to talk to. Thank you geek. I met Olivia freaking forever ago, although look at us, still going strong. I met Jesse because I went through a really tough time with a mutual friend who constantly put me down. And there are so many others! That’s the thing, guys! People care! I sometimes sit in my room thinking that nobody does, but the everlasting smiles and long texts prove other wise! I have a great support system. So why do I feel alone and sad? Because God decided that my chemicals in my brain were gonna make me sad. And I’m gonna be honest, I’m angry at him for that. No one, even if they are the worst person to ever exist, should have to go through any mental disorder. It’s awful, and it’s hard to see. So be kind guys, always, never just assume someone is always okay. Please take time, people are fragile, they are gonna need you, and you need to be there. Okay, sorry I went all preacher there, oopsies daisies. Anyway, just care people, just understand that it’s basic human decency to be kind! It’s not hard! Just try. Be open. Thank you very much, I really appreciate it. I’m currently at church, I had a panic attack, because there are so many people. And I’m scared to face my friends, like Dom, and Elliot. I don’t know what they feel about my disorder, maybe they think I’m weak. I am not, let me say that. If you have the strength to stand after a anxiety attack, you’re strong and I am proud of you. But yeah, I just needed to get my feelings out, or else I might have thrown something, you know, like a tissue box or an lamp or maybe a person. I love you all, remember I care, always.